More student parent need more help.

I haven't posted as much as I would have liked this week. I guess I was too ambitious to expect to be able to write everyday. With my 2 essays that I still haven't written (I really should!) and looking after Edward and enjoying the summer sun (it's so hot here and my legs are still so white!), the day just doesn't have enough hours in it!!

Anyway, my main reason for starting a blog, like I have said before, was because there isn't much for students on the internet when they find out they are expecting a baby. A baby is a big little 'thing'. Parents-to-be spend ages researching online, buying books, planning out expenses before their little one arrives. All of this material to help prepare for a baby to arrive is geared at parents who are working or on maternity leave. There is nothing for students.

It takes a long time to search to find out what you are entitled to financially and what education arrangements are allowed. It's a confusing and worrying time which is so pivotable to one's life - and their child and any others involved!!

It says in big bold red letters on the Norwegian Student Finance website: "If you are pregnant do not stop your education". Why is this not on our Student Finance website?! If I type in "Student Finance England student parents" to Google, this is what I get:

Any use of the word "parent" is in reference to the parent of the student. There is more information for the pushy over protective parents of 18/19 year olds than the students that could be parents!! None of these links give any help to students who are trying to research if they can stay in education. I must admit, each university does give their own form of advice. It is just one page long of generic information. I typed in "student parent Aberystwyth" (my own university) to see the results. The second result was suggesting WITHDRAWAL from my degree scheme. Just ?!?! I didn't find, from that search, an advice page for my own university. I haven't found one this year, if I remember back to when I was looking, I found one for staff, but not for students.

So I have come to the conclusion that a national organisation/charity/NGO is needed to support students. It is so important for the student that they continue their studies. I am by no means saying that they shouldn't drop out if they decide that they would rather look after their child. I am saying that these students need to make more informed choices. There needs to be a universal place, that students can access easily to help them along the way with their studies. This shouldn't be for just university, this should be for A Levels and GCSE's too. Obviously, I had my baby at university, so I do not know what is offered in those circumstances. But I do know that there is not a substantial, supportive and effective organisation to help. 

If students can continue their education whilst bringing up a child then young parents will no longer be the "problem" it is perceived to be today.

Mums in Politics.

Yesterday you read about Edward's political activity, now you can read about mine!

There is a huge barrier to politics. It's like a semi-permeable net that only lets certain types of people through easily. The rest have to work very hard to get it. There is a reason why men out number women 4 to 1 in Parliament. The men can dedicate 100% of their time to campaigning and networking in order to get elected. I can't even feel like I should stand for President of the student branch of the Lib Dems at my university as the responsibility of baby, degree and a society is too big. You'll never get anywhere if you aren't on several committees, boards or positions. And you simply can't do that with a baby.

I'm all for the best person for the job, positive discrimination is inefficient. So how do you propose that a woman with a baby start up her political career as effectively as possible? I can't attend a committee meeting at 6pm, that is Edward's bath time. Too much of politics is scheduled in the evenings. Too much of politics is made for those who can spend 24/7 on what they are doing.

I bet there a quite a few people reading this, thinking "if you can't commit 100% to it then you shouldn't being doing it" or "those who commit 100% will do the deserve it better". But politics is about representing the society. Not about who is the best at doing everything. Maybe what the UK needs is a bit of artificial boosting to get the Parliament looking more natural.

There is even a problem with political events within the parties. To attend the York Conference in April, me and my partner spent about £600 across the whole weekend: hotel, train, food, baby things. That is a lot for a student to spend. It's even more for a student parent. God know if we'll be able to make Glasgow Conference as I imagine that'll be far more! Conferences need to be accessible. Especially for the young.

Only visiting - Out on the terrace at Parliament

Why should politicians talk of their desire to make politics more accessible when they won't do that with their own party conferences?

I would love to become an MP one day. I know another dozen or so young Lib Dems who would love it as well. The difference between me and them is that they have the time and the ability to do so. I have something they lack, an experience they don't, that lots of women have: a baby.

I haven't even mentioned the discrimination that mothers face once they finally get into Parliament. And don't get me started on Cathy Newman's article in the Telegraph in January this year!! What I will say, is: please can you do a great favour and sign the petition below. This is just one small way that politics can start to be more accessible to all.

Change.org - Time to get the house in order - shake up PMQs

Student Finance IS SO CONFUSING.

Student Finance is the pain in the backside of every student's experience at university. It's what you dread most. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if someone has decided not to go to university on the simple basis that filling out the Student Finance application for loans is too confusing! So, as you can imagine, trying to apply for Student Finance WITH a baby, just makes it a whole lot harder! Wouldn't it be easier to apply before you had the baby?

I was going to write some advice for other student parents about Student Finance. However, putting pen to paper (fingers to laptop doesn't sound as good...), I have to admit, I don't know a thing. Well I do, but not enough to properly inform you. So I promise you, by September, I shall have that informative blog post.

In the meantime, what I can do, is rant about how mind-boggling-brain-draining-clench-fisting-ly confusing applying for Student Finance is. I honestly could not have done this without the help of Student Support at my university. If any of you know me personally then you'll know, I don't have a clue about these finances. Believe me, I'm trying. 

At this very moment I am trying to reapply for my student loan. (I swear my sister just needs to sign a letter and then it's done?) This involves going through loads of questions about your financial situation. I've completed it and apparently I don't get to apply for childcare grant - I'm not sure why, or what I've click wrong, as I know I am entitled to it. Thank God for Student Support (who, yes, work throughout the summer holidays). Fingers crossed I get my loans and my grants. I also have to send off my child benefit application which I only just sent off to them a few months ago to apply for last terms!

If I ever get the time I shall campaign for a simpler process to applying to loans. I must admit, in their new website, Student Finance is a bit simpler. But there is vast improvements to be made.

Have you had troubles with Student Finance? It doesn't have to be child related! Leave your experience below in the comment. 

xoxo.

Everyone from uni is buying vodka and unable to face reality and it's freaking me out!

I saw this article on the Tab: "Everyone form my home town is getting married or having kids and it's freaking me out." The writer, Roisin Lanigan, talks about how she is disturbed by the amount of people from her home town who are getting on with their lives. She admits her abhorrer of someone instagram-ing about breastmilk (I suppose breastfeeding in public is a problem for her as well?). And those who "are now engaged or up the duff" she labels them as "arseholes."

Obviously, I have a major problem with article. In fact, I have several.

Firstly, it's quite obvious the writer is very immature. She is embarrassed by 'having' to congratulate someone on their pregnancy (you know, you don't have to, if you don't want to!). Her life revolves around drinking (she mentions she buys bottles of vodka), and trying "to land work experience".

Lanigan thinks that by posting pictures of your birth scan (personally, I haven't done this, but if you want to, then it's fine right?) is inappropriate. But what happens if I say it's more inappropriate to make a Facebook status about how you much fun you had last night driving drunk? (It wasn't this writer, it was Facebook Friend that got deleted immediately). Do I hear jealously talking about "raking in the likes" from the scan photo? Maturity would be someone able to accept that another person's life is moving in a different direction, at a different pace. If people don't go to university, and decide to get married or have a child young, there isn't anything wrong with that.

This article, or more of a bitching session, snubs people's engagement rings - whether or not a ring is from Argos is none of her business - and posts pictures of people's newborn babies and scan photos. Did she even ask their permission? asks one commenter below the article.

It seems to me that Roisin is struggling to accept that after 3 years of studying partying, she is noticing that we aren't in secondary school anymore. Neither do we live in a Bridget Jones world where our mothers are trying to marry us off whenever we visit them.

University is growing up. For many, it takes the whole 3-4 years to notice that. But honey, you're in the real world now darling. You have to grow up like the rest did years before you.

Reasons why having a baby won't stop your education.

Having a baby doesn't mean your life has to end. You can still carry on your education. It means even more now you have someone to provide for. Here are some reasons why you can still study your degree and be a parent.

1. You can manage time between baby and uni.

Studying with a baby isn't rocket science, as I have said before. You have the time, especially if you have few contact hours at university. There is an average of 13.9 hrs of contact time a week at university. I have 9 hrs, 3 of which are compulsory. More and more, now, lecturers are putting their lectures online. Anything from notes to power points and audio recordings can be available - and if they aren't - ASK! Like this, if you can't make a lecture, you can go over it in your own time.
With only 9 hours a week, I was leaving my baby only for an hour or two a day. Never more. I asked for my timetable to be readjusted to suit me, this meant changing a module but it was better than leaving a 4 week old baby for 3 hours!

2. You will get better at attending lectures.

Think about all the times you missed a 9am lecture because you were too hungover. With a baby you will be attending that lecture as you'll have been up since 6am changing nappies! You'll understand the importance of attending everything. I have not skipped anything since Edward was born, compared to regularly skipping lectures in 1st year. Your degree means more to you.

3. You won't be taking a career break like most women do when they have a child.

If you have a child at 30, you'll most likely be in a stable job, married with a husband who has a good job as well. It's tempting to extend your maternity leave, staying at home being a housewife. Before you know it, you'll be far behind of where you potentially be in your career. Having a child at uni means you'll finish your degree the same time as your classmates, get a job and progress just like any of them.

4. You get to be a young mum.

There are so many benefits of being a young mum. Countless. You have so much more energy. You will get to spend more time with your child. You might be seen as a "cool mum". You will probably be one of the first of your friends to have a baby, so you get to be the wise advice giver when your friend follow suite. 

5. You get to take your baby to lectures.

Many lecturers, as long as you ask first, will allow a quiet child into the lecture rooms. You can even hear Edward babbling in some of the lecture audios online, with the lecturer replying to him! ("At least someone agrees with my point!" he said.) In seminars, everyone loves to sit next to you so they can have a play with a baby.

6. You will have numerous amounts of support.

Support will come from you from all angles. From your parents wanting to see their grandchild as much as possible (take advantage of this! How many times does a uni student's mum travel 5 hours to do their laundry for them?!), to your friends wanting to babysit. Not to mention your university will (and if it's not, it's breaking the law) 100% behind you. You can apply for a bigger student loan, be given grants from Student Finance and bursaries exist from your university as well. 

Do you have a reason to add to the list? Comment below and I plan to make a page full of reasons!

xoxo.