Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Reasons why having a baby won't stop your education.

Having a baby doesn't mean your life has to end. You can still carry on your education. It means even more now you have someone to provide for. Here are some reasons why you can still study your degree and be a parent.

1. You can manage time between baby and uni.

Studying with a baby isn't rocket science, as I have said before. You have the time, especially if you have few contact hours at university. There is an average of 13.9 hrs of contact time a week at university. I have 9 hrs, 3 of which are compulsory. More and more, now, lecturers are putting their lectures online. Anything from notes to power points and audio recordings can be available - and if they aren't - ASK! Like this, if you can't make a lecture, you can go over it in your own time.
With only 9 hours a week, I was leaving my baby only for an hour or two a day. Never more. I asked for my timetable to be readjusted to suit me, this meant changing a module but it was better than leaving a 4 week old baby for 3 hours!


2. You will get better at attending lectures.

Think about all the times you missed a 9am lecture because you were too hungover. With a baby you will be attending that lecture as you'll have been up since 6am changing nappies! You'll understand the importance of attending everything. I have not skipped anything since Edward was born, compared to regularly skipping lectures in 1st year. Your degree means more to you.

3. You won't be taking a career break like most women do when they have a child.

If you have a child at 30, you'll most likely be in a stable job, married with a husband who has a good job as well. It's tempting to extend your maternity leave, staying at home being a housewife. Before you know it, you'll be far behind of where you potentially be in your career. Having a child at uni means you'll finish your degree the same time as your classmates, get a job and progress just like any of them.

4. You get to be a young mum.

There are so many benefits of being a young mum. Countless. You have so much more energy. You will get to spend more time with your child. You might be seen as a "cool mum". You will probably be one of the first of your friends to have a baby, so you get to be the wise advice giver when your friend follow suite. 

5. You get to take your baby to lectures.

Many lecturers, as long as you ask first, will allow a quiet child into the lecture rooms. You can even hear Edward babbling in some of the lecture audios online, with the lecturer replying to him! ("At least someone agrees with my point!" he said.) In seminars, everyone loves to sit next to you so they can have a play with a baby.

6. You will have numerous amounts of support.

Support will come from you from all angles. From your parents wanting to see their grandchild as much as possible (take advantage of this! How many times does a uni student's mum travel 5 hours to do their laundry for them?!), to your friends wanting to babysit. Not to mention your university will (and if it's not, it's breaking the law) 100% behind you. You can apply for a bigger student loan, be given grants from Student Finance and bursaries exist from your university as well. 

Do you have a reason to add to the list? Comment below and I plan to make a page full of reasons!

xoxo.

Sunday, 22 June 2014

University With A Baby: My Story So Far

Hey, my name is Alice and I'm starting a blog because I've been googling and googling in search for a blog with the same experiences as me. I have found nada. There is no one, or so I believe, (please tell me if you have a blog like me!!) that is documenting their experiences of being a young full time mum, whilst being at university. There are lots of women out there that study courses whilst being a mum, but I'm not too sure of how many have done it the way I did it. Maybe my way was harder. Although, I, personally, think what I did was the easiest option I had. I hope this blog can provide support to others who might be in a similar situation to me. So, I thought, by starting this blog, other student parents can learn and grown confidence in themselves. This is not rocket science we're talking about.


Pregnancy

I found out I was pregnant in May 2013. I was just about to finish my first year of university - studying International Politics. Me and my Norwegian boyfriend, Haakon, (also a student) had been dating only 7 months.We were absolutely thrilled but our emotions were mixed with the daunting prospect that we had to tell people. Having a baby young isn't a taboo but it does cause a stir. Without a doubt we have caused a stir at uni. Also, we hadn't been dating long. For us, we felt like we knew each other a lifetime by then; I had pretty much been living with him since we met! So, it wasn't a concern either.

At 6 weeks pregnant, exams started, and so did the morning sickness. In fact, I had hyperemesis gravidarum and was admitted to hospital so I could have a drip. I missed an exam or two, but I was in contact with the university. A note from the GP was all I needed to be excused from the exams.

So that was drama No1. Drama No2 was telling our family. But that turned out not to be a drama at all. Everyone was supportive, and excited. We have only encountered a handful of people who don't believe raising a baby whilst studying a university degree is a good idea. Whether that's because the baby will be neglected, or the degree. Either way, the people are wrong, their views are outdated. 

Me and my partner had the summer to relax work. We wanted to earn as much as possible now our expenses would go up. (I'm going to write about finances in another post, so stay tuned for it) At first I was apprehensive about starting again in September, 5 months pregnant, with a bump. University with a bump is fine. Don't let people tell you it's weird. I didn't notice people looking, they were probably too busy with their own drama to notice. In fact, when talking to a lecturer in December (8 months pregnant) about how I was going to miss the exams, he hadn't even noticed all term! No one in seminars asked me about it, apart from my friends. Everyone was supportive.

Writing essays and going to lectures with feet in your ribs is rather trying. I was uncomfortable the WHOLE time. My motivation to finish my essays was that in January (my due date), it was going to be 10x harder (it wasn't actually that much harder than pregnancy). Odd motivation, but there we go, it got me through. 

Throughout the term I was in regular contact with the Academic Administrator within my department of studies. She was very helpful and we laid out a plan: I would do the January exams in essay format ("in lieu of exam") during the summer holidays 2014. I would return in January/February with a new baby to start lectures. In reality, I had no maternity leave even though it was offered.


The first semester

My baby Edward was born 31st December 2013. I had him at home in Cambridgeshire at return to Wales when he was 18 days old. Studying with a baby would be made easier if you decided to bottle feed and put your baby in nursery. I decided that we wouldn't put him in nursery and that I would breastfeed exclusively. Breastfeeding exclusively is amazing and it shall be a blog post in itself at some point. It made leaving him harder, and it took some getting use to it. I had 6 hours a week of lectures and 3 of seminars. It wasn't much contact time so it was completely doable. Me and Haakon would look after him alternatively, whoever didn't have a lecture would have him.

My first lecture was nerve wracking. I had left a 4 week old baby at home with his pappa. I was back within 2 hours of leaving him and all was fine. We got better at it, and sometimes Edward would join us to come to lectures. By the age of 3 months, we were sitting him on our lap, putting the teletubbies on mute for him, and continuing to make notes on our lecture. He joined me for seminars and was the most popular student there - everyone wanted to sit next to him. I must admit, I do have an angel baby, he doesn't cry (although if he did, I would leave immediately). As long as I asked the day before, lecturers were more than happy for him to attend - only one didn't seem keen on the idea and so I made sure he never went to that lecture.

A 5 week old Edward 'reading' for my seminar prep.
Essays were the hardest part. I had four essays to write, a total of 7500 words. Gone were the days when I could sit up all night, eating junk food, and produce a 3000 word essay in a matter of 12 hours. Essays took weeks to write. I had to escape to the library to work as I would have no peace when I could hear Edward at home. Again, I was in constant contact with the Academic Administrator who sorted out special circumstances for me. I handed in 1 essay on time. The others were all late; a week at least, a month at most. 

Finally, to end my term, I had exams. I had three 2 and a half hour exams. It was arranged that whoever was babysitting could send a text to my phone, which the invigilator had, saying that Edward needed feeding. Then we would all meet in a private room, the clock stopped, and I could feed Edward under supervision. We never had to do this as I fed him up beforehand.

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So this is where I am now. Enjoying my summer holidays.  Stressing about my two 3000 word essays that need to be written and how on earth to wean Edward enough so he can start nursery in September.
I wouldn't change my situation for the world. I've got a wonderful, supportive and dedicated boyfriend and a fantastic little boy. I am also studying a degree I love and doing well at it.

Please, please leave a comment, ask any questions you might have or if you have an idea on what I should write about next. Alternatively you could tweet me: @aliceparker0101

xoxo.